Does this make me a better father

I have three kids. Most of the choices that matter run through one question: does this make me a better father. Not in a sentimental way. As an actual gate.

A new program, a move, a side project, how late I work. I run it through the gate. Sometimes the answer is yes even when it costs me, because being present is not the same as being available, and they can tell the difference.

I am a builder by default. I would rather implement a system than rely on willpower. Parenting is where that instinct gets tested hardest, because there is no clean process for it and the requirements change every year.

What I have settled on is simple. Protect the time that is theirs. Decide the big things against the gate, not against the calendar. Measure the day by whether I showed up for them, not by what I shipped.